Training Mentors in the Upward Referral Process

By: Brian Dobias

One the essential components of any peer mentor program is the upward referral process.

A significant advantage of a peer mentor program is that many school age students consider

their peer mentors to be more accessible than the adults in the building. This allows the

peer mentor program to serve as a network, helping counselors and other adult supervisors

become aware of, and ultimately provide interventions for problems that otherwise, may

have gone undetected. Unfortunately, no one can predict the nature and magnitude of

problems that might be presented to the mentors.

The mentors must be able to use sound judgement and accurately assess if a problem

being presented by one of their mentees is something that they can effectively handle,

or something that requires the awareness and involvement of a supervisor. Consequently,

both mentor training and supervision in this area requires the attention of the peer

program directors. This training is recognized in the NAPPP Programmatic Standards,

referred to as “Recognition of Limitations.”

Anyone who has parented or worked with adolescents knows that, in general they are

not developmentally ready to make consistently sound decisions. Of course, one must

acknowledge that personal development and maturity among adolescents varies and

some mentors will show greater aptitude in this area than others. However, a peer

mentor program must be designed to effectively support the lease capable mentor in any

given area. This can be accomplished by training the mentors specifically in the upward

referral process.

In my experience training mentors each summer, I have found that teaching mentors

about the upward referral process is most effective when you can eliminate as much

ambiguity as possible. We teach the mentors a 3-tiered model of upward referral. The

highest tier is the “legally must refer” category, which includes problems such as abuse,

harm to self, harm to others, evidence of illegal activity and suicide. In the case of suicide,

we strongly insist that if a mentor were to be presented with suicide ideation in their

mentee, they are to remain with the mentee until such time that they can accompany the

mentee to speak with a counselor or other identified adult.

One of the best training activities for teaching the upward referral process is the “Pass the

Brick” exercise (See below). The exercise has been part of the Natural Helpers curriculum,

but like many activities has existed in multiple variations over the years. The activity

involves having the mentors sit in a circle. A brick is used to signify the weight of a problem

that has just been presented to the mentor by a mentee. While the mentor holds the brick,

the leader reads a scenario from a list. The mentors must then decide which category the

problem falls under, if they can solve it themselves of need to refer the problems to a

supervisor. If they are going to solve it, they explain what approach they might use to help

the mentee. The group then offers suggestions and feedback. My experience has been that

during training, the mentors really appreciate the immediacy of the challenges presented

by the scenarios and they find the activity quite rewarding.

As always, training formats may vary, depending on the structure of each peer mentor

program. A commitment to training your mentors in the upward referral process can help

ensure that the quality of your program, and more importantly, the wellbeing of the mentees

will not be compromised by an incident of poor judgement.

Brian Dobias is a Clinical Assistant Professor in the College of Education and Public

Policy at Indiana University –Purdue University Fort Wayne (IPFW) He is the co-author

of Empowering Teen Peers to Prevent Bullying (Research Press).

Trust Building Activity for Mentors and Mentor led groups with other students.

By: Brian Dobias

Source: Horne, A. M., Nitza, A., Dobias, B., Jolliff, D., Raczynski, K.A. & Voors,

W. (2012) Empowering Teen Peers to Prevent Bullying. Champaign,

IL. Research Press.

Passing the Brick Exercise

Purpose: Get the group leaders thinking about the different situations they may face as peer mentors working with freshman and help them start brainstorming how they may handle different situations.

Directions: First form a circle with your group. Tell them you will hand someone in the group the brick, and then read a scenario. You will then ask that particular student to answer how they might handle that situation. Make them explain themselves. What suggestions would they offer or what questions would they ask to find out more information?

When they are finished they hand the brick back to you, and you continue by handing the brick to another student and reading another scenario.Continue until there is a little under ten minutes left so you can discuss some of the responses the students gave.

Discussion: 1. What does the brick signify?

2. Which situations you do feel were handled well and why?

3. Which situations could have or should have been handled

differently? What would you have done?

4. What were some of the feelings you had when you heard the

different scenarios or what feelings did you have about having

to help someone with that particular problem?

Passing the Brick Scenarios

Please note: You can customize this activity to best meet the needs of your program

by modifying or deleting existing scenarios as well as adding new scenarios.

1. I hate this school. I don’t know anyone here, and I don’t have any friends

here. My parents made me move here with them because my mom got a new

job. All of my friends are at my old school in Michigan. I wanted to stay

there and live with my grandma, but they wouldn’t let me.

2. I took a pregnancy test yesterday at my friend’s house, and it came back

positive. I haven’t told my parents or my boyfriend yet. I am really scared they

will freak out. My parents didn’t even know we were having sex. I don’t know

what to do.

3. Yesterday, my dad and I got into a fight about me not cleaning my room, and

he punched me in the face. I told everyone I fell down and hit the coffee table.

I hate when he gets that mad.

4. I am failing algebra horribly, and I can’t seem to get it at all. I have to pass it

to graduate, and I don’t know what to do. I have tried asking questions in class,

but I ask so many questions that I feel stupid.

5. I went to a senior’s party last weekend with some of my friends, and now there

are rumors flying all over the school about me. Supposedly, I got drunk and

slept with two guys. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even really know the two

guys they said I slept with. People I don’t even know are walking by me and

calling me a whore, especially one of their girlfriends. I don’t know who

started the rumor, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to be here

right now.

6. My parents are way too strict. They said I can’t date until I am sixteen, and

my curfew is 9:30. They are driving me nuts, and they won’t discuss it. I can’t

even stay until the end of school dance because of my curfew is so early. I

think it is ridiculous. No one I know has such an early curfew. Plus a junior

asked me out, and I have to tell him no because I can’t date. That is so

embarrassing. I’m tired of following all their rules and sometimes I think I

should just do whatever I want and not care what they think.

7. My girlfriend recently noticed my Snapchat best friends and realized I have

been exchanging snaps with multiple girls that I am friends with. She is the

jealous type. She doesn't trust me and has threatened to break up with me

unless I stop snapchatting every girl, except her. I've been Snapchatting these

girls strictly as friends only and some of them I’ve known since 1st grade.

I don’t want to break up, but I don’t want to cut off some of my some friends

just because they are girls.

8. My parents are already pressuring me to pick a major and college. I don’t have

a clue what interests me, and I’ll be in college in just three years. My parents

say that I should choose a career with a high income, but when I talk to my

friends they want me to go to college with them when we graduate; they say

don’t worry about choosing major just yet, that we’ll go just to hangout and

party. I don't know what I’m doing, I need help.

9. I hate my life. Schools sucks. My parents hate me. My best friend isn't

talking to me. I can’t do anything right. I just want to disappear. In fact,

I think everyone would be happier if I wasn't alive anymore.

10. I am thinking about trying out for the basketball team this winter, but I am

really nervous that I won’t make the team. I played last year in middle school,

but I sat the bench a lot. I am not sure how to be ready for try-outs.

11. I used to be a good student in middle school, but now I feel pretty overwhelmed

with everything that is going on. The other day I had to skip my practice

just to finish a project for my Honors Bio class. My grades are slipping some,

but I feel like I’m being pulled into too many directions.

12. I hate my science teacher so much that I know I won’t get through his class.

Yesterday he kicked me out, and I didn’t even do anything. He is always

singling me out.

13. I ate lunch by myself all week, and next week I don’t even want to go to the

cafeteria. I don’t know anyone in my lunch,

14. I’ve been friends with the same people for years. Since we got into high

school, they have started partying and drugs. I don’t agree with what they are 

doing, and they know it. So they have stopped inviting me to hang out as much

and when we do hang they act awkward around me. I’m afraid I’m going to

lose most of my friends.

15. There is a junior girl that has a real problem with me. She’s always on

Facebook posting statuses about me, saying she is going to beat me up and

that I better watch out. She messaged me on FB and said if I tell anyone about

the threats she will make it worse for me. I’ve never even talked to her

before. I hear she doesn’t like me because the boy she used to date likes me.

16. I think that I might gay. Ever since middle school I’ve felt different about

the way that I look at other guys and a lot of the things my guy friends talk

about when they are discussing girls don’t interest me at all. I’m really

nervous about what my friends or parents will say when they find out I’ve

been feeling this way. What if they hate me? What if they totally freak out?

17. Mentor to Mentor Scenario:

Hey, you know that quiet kid, Tim, in my group? Well a couple of days ago

one of the other boys in my group said that Tim had a crush on me. At first

I ignored it because I thought he might have said it to embarrass Tim. But

yesterday there was a note in my locker from Tim and it asked me for my cell

number. Tim has recently started talking in group so I don't want to discourage

him, but now I'm worried that he might have a crush on me