(The following information can be used with your peer helpers as they facilitate Peer Education Activities to groups of their peers)
February is National Teen
Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAM). This is an
issue that impacts everyone – not just teens – but their parents, teachers,
friends and communities as well. Together, we can raise the nation’s
awareness about teen dating violence and promote safe, healthy
relationships.
In his Teen Dating Violence Awareness &
Prevention Month Proclamation President Obama called
on all Americans “to stand against dating violence when we see it.” At
a time when an estimated 1 in 10 teens will experience dating violence we all
must take this opportunity to amplify our efforts and shine a spotlight on
this important issue.
What Is the Impact of Teen
Dating Violence?
Nationwide, youth age 12 to 19
experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault. Studies show
that approximately 10% of adolescents report being the victim of physical
violence at the hands of an intimate partner during the previous year.
Girls are particularly vulnerable to experiencing violence in their
relationships and are more likely to suffer long-term behavioral and health
consequences, including suicide attempts, eating disorders, and drug use.
Adolescents
in abusive relationships often carry these unhealthy
patterns
of violence into future relationships. Indeed, children who are
victimized or witness violence frequently bring this experience with them to
the playground, the classroom, later into teen relationships and, ultimately,
they can end up the victims and perpetrators of adult intimate partner
violence.
How Do I Participate in Teen
Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month?
During Teen Dating Violence
Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAM), we aim to break the cycle of violence
by providing support and services to victims, their families and their
communities. The following activities represent just a few of the
exciting ways that everyone can – and hopefully will – engage in this work:
Blog! Tweet! Or
Participate in a Webinar!
The Family Violence Prevention
and Services Program at the Administration for Children and Families is
working to bring visibility to the work of advocates, the strength of
victims, and the Federal initiatives addressing this pervasive issue by hosting
social media events and webinars throughout the month of February.
Click here
to access their calendar of events (PDF, 2 pages).
Talk to Teens!
Everyone can make a difference
by reaching out to young people in simple ways. As we interact with
teens in our work or personal lives each of us can act on President Obama’s
call to stand against teen dating violence by:
Anyone Can Do It!
Anyone can participate in
TDVAM! Consider one of the following activities:
How Do I Get Help?
If you know of a teen or parent that could benefit from speaking to a
caring, well-trained peer advocate, please connect them with the National
Dating Abuse Helpline, a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline,
at 1-866-331-9474 (TTY: 1-866-331-8453), by texting "lovies" to
77054, or through live chat at loveisrespect.org. (link is external)
For more information, please visit the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Women.
Warning Signs of Dating Abuse
Being able to tell the
difference between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships can be more
difficult than you would think. No two relationships are the same, so what’s unhealthy
in one relationship may be abusive in another.
Although there are many signs to pay attention to in a relationship, look for
these common warning signs of dating abuse:
·
Checking
cell phones, emails or social networks without
permission
·
Extreme
jealousy or insecurity
·
Constant belittling
or put-downs
·
Making false accusations
·
Constant mood swings towards you
·
Physically
inflicting pain or hurt in any way
·
Possessiveness
·
Telling someone what they can and cannot do
·
Repeatedly pressuring
someone to have sex
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Different people define relationships in different ways. But in order
for a relationship to be healthy, it needs a few key ingredients!
Healthy Communication
Open, honest
and safe communication
is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. The first step to building a
relationship is making sure you both understand each other’s needs and
expectations—being on the same page is very important. That means you have to
talk to each other! The following tips can help you and your partner create
and maintain a healthy relationship:
Healthy Boundaries
Creating
boundaries is a good
way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries
together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of
relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make
you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries
is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you
feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the
relationship.
Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:
Healthy Relationship Boosters
Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then. You may need
a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship
has gotten stale. If so, find a fun, simple activity you both enjoy, like going
on a walk, and talk about the reasons why you want to be in the relationship.
Then, keep using healthy behaviors as you continue dating.
If you’re single (and especially if you’re a single parent), don’t
worry if you need a boost too! Being single can be the best and worst feeling
but remember relationships don’t just include your significant other and you.
Think about all the great times you’ve had with your parents, siblings,
friends, children, other family members, etc..
Try going out with the people you love and care about the most —
watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and
just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the
relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling
them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad?
Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us. We’re here to
help 24/7.
And don’t forget, the relationship you can always boost up is the one
you have with yourself!
What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?
Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control,
not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship,
you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However,
possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling
hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of
power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to
be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.
If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think
about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:
Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in
your own life to stay safe. Consider leaving your partner before the abuse
gets worse. Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to use our safety
planning tips to stay safe. Remember, you have many
options — including obtaining a domestic violence restraining
order. Laws vary from state to state so chat with a
peer advocate to learn more.
If you are still unsure whether you’re in a healthy relationship, our
Healthy
Relationships Quiz can help you.
This project was supported by Grant Number 90EV0426 from the Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Family and Youth Services Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The opinions, findings, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Family and Youth Services Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. |
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