Let’s Talk About Emotions
By: Brian Dobias
The emotions felt by children, adolescents and many adults today can be numerous, complex and at times, intense. The expressions of negative emotions such anger, isolation or feeling misunderstood have resulted in outcomes ranging from minor arguments and hurt feelings to tragic events. The value of helping children and adolescents, especially in a school setting, to connect in a positive way and be able to share how they feel cannot be overstated. Mentors, of course, can play a big role in helping their mentees learn how to identify their feelings and express those feelings in an appropriate manner. However, even the most well trained mentors can find it challenging to generate a discussion about feelings, especially with adolescents. Despite the potential challenges faced by mentors, these are important discussions to have. Mentees can learn and grow through the experience and mentors have an opportunity to identify mentees who are genuinely struggling with emotionality. The ability of any mentor to connect with their mentees and explore emotionality can be enhanced by providing a platform for the discussion. This can be accomplished by using a number of activities in a group setting or 1-on-1. Mentors leading this type of discussion should try to keep the discussion balanced between identifying both positive and negative emotions. One activity that will help facilitate a conversation about emotions is simply called “The History of My Emotions.”
The History of My Emotions
Purpose: To help group members identify different emotions that they have experienced and understand how they dealt with the emotion at the time.
Group Size: This activity will work with any age group from early adolescent through adults and with any size group up to 12 members. It is also suitable to use in a 1-on-1 setting.
Materials:
By: Brian Dobias
The emotions felt by children, adolescents and many adults today can be numerous, complex and at times, intense. The expressions of negative emotions such anger, isolation or feeling misunderstood have resulted in outcomes ranging from minor arguments and hurt feelings to tragic events. The value of helping children and adolescents, especially in a school setting, to connect in a positive way and be able to share how they feel cannot be overstated. Mentors, of course, can play a big role in helping their mentees learn how to identify their feelings and express those feelings in an appropriate manner. However, even the most well trained mentors can find it challenging to generate a discussion about feelings, especially with adolescents. Despite the potential challenges faced by mentors, these are important discussions to have. Mentees can learn and grow through the experience and mentors have an opportunity to identify mentees who are genuinely struggling with emotionality. The ability of any mentor to connect with their mentees and explore emotionality can be enhanced by providing a platform for the discussion. This can be accomplished by using a number of activities in a group setting or 1-on-1. Mentors leading this type of discussion should try to keep the discussion balanced between identifying both positive and negative emotions. One activity that will help facilitate a conversation about emotions is simply called “The History of My Emotions.”
The History of My Emotions
Purpose: To help group members identify different emotions that they have experienced and understand how they dealt with the emotion at the time.
Group Size: This activity will work with any age group from early adolescent through adults and with any size group up to 12 members. It is also suitable to use in a 1-on-1 setting.
Materials:
For this activity, you’ll need:
1. Multiple emotions written individually on folded slips of paper. NOTE: For a 1-on-1 setting use at least 20 slips to allow for random selection. For a group, allow approximately 5 slips per group
member, plus an additional 25 slips to allow for random selection
2. A basket or other container to hold the slips of paper.
member, plus an additional 25 slips to allow for random selection
2. A basket or other container to hold the slips of paper.
Procedures:
1. Select a number of common emotions from the list below. Try to select a balanced number of positive and negative emotions. (See above for recommended number of slips). 2. Write each emotion on a separate slip of paper. Fold the slips and place them in a basket or similar container.
3. Have one member select a slip from the basket and read the emotion. The member should answer 2 questions about the emotion. a) When was a time in your life that you felt that way? (Referring to the emotion selected) b) If it was a negative emotion, what did you do to get past feeling that way?
4. Once the basket has gone around the group as many rotation as time allows, process the activity with the whole group.
Guiding Questions
1. How did it feel to reach in and select a slip? Were you worried that you might select an emotion that you didn’t want to discuss?
2. Were there any common ways in the group that we dealt with negative emotions?
2. Were there any common ways in the group that we dealt with negative emotions?
3. Thinking back over the last few years, which emotions seem to generate the most vivid memories, positive emotions or negative emotions?
4. Do you feel confident that you can express and deal with negative emotions such as anger in an appropriate manner?
Adapted from Adjectives That Describe Me from The Glenbrook High Schools (1999) from The Curriculum Guide for Student Peer Counseling Training, by Barbara Varenhorst. Palo Also: Palo Alto Peer Counseling Program, 1980.
Brian Dobias is a Clinical Assistant Professor in the College of Education and Public Policy - Counselor Education Program at Indiana University – Purdue University Fort Wayne (IPFW). (dobibf01@ipfw.edu) He is a Certified Trainer/Consultant for the NAPPP. In November 2017, Mr. Dobias was named Indiana Counselor Educator of the Year by the Indiana School Counselor Association.
Adapted from Adjectives That Describe Me from The Glenbrook High Schools (1999) from The Curriculum Guide for Student Peer Counseling Training, by Barbara Varenhorst. Palo Also: Palo Alto Peer Counseling Program, 1980.
Brian Dobias is a Clinical Assistant Professor in the College of Education and Public Policy - Counselor Education Program at Indiana University – Purdue University Fort Wayne (IPFW). (dobibf01@ipfw.edu) He is a Certified Trainer/Consultant for the NAPPP. In November 2017, Mr. Dobias was named Indiana Counselor Educator of the Year by the Indiana School Counselor Association.
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